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What's GAS? I don't know. But I update it daily. Bookmark it and visit often.
This is my life.
8-30-01
I encourage everyone to visit purity.5u.com! Or just click here!
8-28-01
I'm still not finished. It's 2:29 pm. I skipped my math class this morning and chose to attend a theatre workshop on campus instead. What did math ever get anyone other than an ulcer or something. This website sucks. I'm gonna stop working on it I think.
8-27-01
So here I am. Sitting in my dorm room typing. I'm tired from moving, so I'm gonna start tommarow. Okay.
8-7-01
Well here's the story. I'll be back on-line and erect in about two weeks. I'm leaving Sitka for Anchorage on the 17th, stopping in Canada (just because I can) and then leaving for California on a plane on the 21st. On the 25th I'll be updating the page with new pics of eskimullets, pics of me meeting famous people who were on vacation and stopped in my gallery (like Steve Buschemi and Silent Bob and the Beastie-Boys and Jack Nicholson etc. Um. . . and in the mean time, visit mulletsgalore.com and mulletjunky.com. Oh yeah, a little message to everybody that writes mean stuff to me and corrects my spelling and stuff: I'm dyslexic and have tourette syndrome so get off my ass. P.S. I ate dinner with Cameron Diaz and you didn't. Haha, this is a severe case of you suck and I'm neat-o. &^%(*!
7-8-01
It would be a crying shame if I didn't write at least onth a month while I'm here, even though nobody reads the site anymore. So I think I'm a pretty fabulous cook. If you sign my guestbook I'll send you a piece of chicken or something. Seriously. My dad saw my website and was pretty impressed. He thought it was so great that he couldn't even talk, he just turned all red and stuff (I'm not sure if he was actually red, I live in Alaska and he is in California, but I can imagine). I think he's proud of me for being his only literate child or something.
6-8-01
So my dad made a website. I'm not going to share the address with you or anything because then you would go to it and tell him bad things about me, but he did get a website, just so you know. On a side-note, I'll be giving away GAS.com T-shirts to people who sign my guestbook and say something witty or intelligent or really dumb or something, so. . .that's good. Sorry about any misspellings, this keyboard I'm using is a piece of shit. An oosik is a walrus penis bone. They can be up to 3 1/2 feet long! $#^! Makes a person feel insignificant. Today at work, a customer was playing with the OOSIK CARVINGS that we sell. They're like 2748093893848 dollars. He was, "hey *obnoxious stupid person voice* what kind of wood is this?" So I explained to him that it was walrus wood. He almost dropped it. Then he went over to the 200 pound mammoth tusk and asked what animal has a penis that big? After slapping him repeated in the face with an oosik I pushed the totem pole down on him and sold him to a tourist.
6-3-01
So since the last time I wrote, I've been working in Sitka at "The Alaska Gallery". I sell art done by eskimos and inuits and haidas and stuff. Like, whalebone carvings and totem poles and all that good stuff. I sold a 1000 dollar mask the other day and almost sold a 5,000 wooden bowl too. Good times. Well I still don't have the internet hooked up at home but I'll try to get on at work every once in a while until I get it. Um. . .until then, find out what an oosik is. Hehe.
5-5-01
So this is my last entry for the next few days because I'm moving to Sitka. I feel that it is my duty to get Brian Kellog layed, since he is a 20 year old virgin (unless you count that 300 pound 15 year old Eskimo girl). Here's a picture of his purple truck that he rolled while trying to masterbate and drive at the same time.
And here is an email that he sent me that shows his soft side.
Date: Sat, 05 May 2001 20:00:27 AKDT
To: caguyinak@excite.com
From: aklogger@hotmail.com
Subject: Who's that?
Hey, who's the cute girl that Anastasia has her arm around in the picture. She's cute! Let her know that I'm intersted. If she's not available, tell the guy he's cute too. I'll do anything for a piece of ass, even ^$#$ your *&%#@! Okay, talk to you later dude. Logger
So if you're a single girl that wants a picture of Brian, write to me and I'll hook you up. And Brian, if you're reading this, you're a sweet-heart.
5-3-01
So today I decided I should probably start packing since I am moving to Sitka, Alaska for the summer to sell expensive paintings and stuff to rich tourists! Just to practice selling stuff, I went to a gallery in the mall (I had to buy some more Bannana Republic stuff to wear, so that I matched the rich tourists because they like you if you match, so I was at the mall anyhow). While I was in the gallery, I walked around asking customers how they were, and told them about everything (oh, that is a good choice customer-guy, it will look good next to your other rich stuff!). When that got boring I unplugged the demagnitizer strip that demagnitizes tags that set off the alarm, and then watched the old german lady tackle customers that she thought were stealing stuff. While she was doing that, I drew devil horns on some of the paintings that looked like they needed it. When all of the paintings had neat horns and mustaches on them, I went to some fancy clothing store and put some 2309489348 dollar ties on and left with them. Because who wants to pay Y#@$! money for ties? The answer is nobody!!!
5-2-01
So here's the deal: I don't think you people understand what it's like to have the responsability of updating this website everyday, and no one ever signs the guestbook or asks me a question to let me know that they like it @#$%! Start giving me feedback )*&*%^! Anyhow, I went to the mall today because I enjoy misery. Actually, Anastasia made me go buy some nice dressy clothes. I bought a bunch of crap from Bannana Republic. I look all chic and gay now like a champ &*%#@!
5-1-01
Hooray! I am writing here again! I'll bet you are really excited! Please sign my guestbook and let me know if you are excited and your bra size and stuff! So I was thinking about Whoopie Goldberg and the time that I slept with her (because school is done and I have nothing better to think about!) and I realized that maybe I should call her up and see what she is doing tonight! Then I realized that I never slept with her because that would be gross! She doesn't have any eyebrows!
4-30-01
Research is the key to success. To a reasearcher whos livelyhood hinges on the results of his work, success is the key to solidifying the means to continue research. It is an odious cycle.
4-29-01
Ich mochte einen Paragraphen meinem wundervollen einsetzen, schun, ausgezeichnet, Liebe Anastasia. Sie bildet jeden Tag von meinen einen schunen Tag und sie bildet meine Nachte zweimal so gut ausserdem. Jedes momment, dem ich mit ihr mich ausgebe, erleben in meinem Kopf wieder, wahrend ich schlafe. Ich hoffe, dass sie mich fur immer liebt.
4-27-01
Upon weighing my options this morning, I rose from bed at the crack of dawn (or 10:00am)and went to my Microeconomics class. Boy was that a mistake. We had a guest-lecturer! Oh no! He was from a bank and boy was he a square! He looked all nervous the whole time and he kept moving his hands around really intense-like and talking fast and sweating. I accidentally dropped my book on the desk at one point and he jumped out the window from fright! Oh no Mr. Bank Guy, you've fallen and your head is broke. Too bad you can't buy a new head with all of your hard-earned money! Haha! I walked out of the room at that point because I really needed a coffee or Prozac or crack to wake me up. But do they provide students with stimulants in class? The answer is NO! What the hell does our money go towards anyhow?
4-26-01
1:00pm-So this morning I actually went to class. . .no, really. I did. It was just about as exciting as I had anticipated it would be. I have a test to do for microeconomics due on monday. A few papers due then too. Went to some shit-hole of a store last night to get film developed. Let's call the place. . .Walmart. Everyone was running around like a bunch of jack-asses and nobody was helping me in the photo-section, so I walked behind the counter and put on one of those gay blue aprons that they wear. I processed my own prints and then started helping other customers. That's such an easy job, so easy in fact that I refused to let the employees come behind the counter. I just kept telling them to talk to Chuck if they didn't like it. I said it in a "quit fucking with me or you'll lose your job" sort of voice. There is no Chuck in all actuality, but do you think the employees knew that? The answer is NO. They ran around the store for hours looking for him. Haha, stupid people. Well eventually one of the managers came back and asked me what the hell was going on. I felt somewhat threatened so I jumped up on the counter to kick him in the aeorta, but he just pushed me down. When I stood up I just pointed over his shoulder to distract him and kicked him in the jimmy. I ran towards the Walmart McDonalds to act like I worked there and get free food but I wasn't a giant fat-ass or a retard so I didn't fit in.
4-25-01
Today I went to class. *giggle* Not really! Haha! But anyways, I went upstairs to eat some food because the cafeteria is upstairs. Other than that, sat in my room and contemplated existance. Anyhow, I submitted a picture of myself to that "Am I Hot or NOt" website. Click here to rate me.So go there and give me a 10.
4-24-01
So I went to the nudie-bar with the guys. Gene, Matt, Keith, Joe, Ryan, BJ, Jay-jay and myself. The strippers kept bothering us to get lap dances from them, so I asked one of them what she would do with BJ's seeing-eye dog for 50 bucks. After that they left us alone. My cheek is still tender though. I didn't get the position of RA that I applied for. Those communist pieces of crap. They gave me some crap about not being a good role-model or something. I'm innocent as a baby goat for crying out fucking loud. So I have to come up with 20,000 dollars for school next year. If you want to help out, send money to the "Save-a-nigga's-education Foundation". Any amount will be suffice. Even a quarter. Or a dime or something.
4-22-01
So I woke up at noon today and went with Joe to the ski shop where I bought a pair of Salomon 1080 Twin-tip skis and S912 Ti bindings. Then we went to the cabin and tested them out. I hiked up flat-top twice and skiied it. That was fairly insane. I also tried to land fakie a few times to no avail. At the ski shop, I talked the guy down on the skis by like half. That was good. I also pulled a perfect misty-flip off of a 80 foot cliff (blatant lie). It was sweet. I also got picked up by Teton Gravity Research Productions and we're going to film a movie with McConkie and Kreitler and other pros and I'm gonna be famous and get pepsi as a sponsor and stuff.
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